Soul Meets Body
by Nanaki BH
Summary: [RenoxRufus] Despite the whole damn world, I love you.


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all associated materials are property of Squaresoft. The song "Soul Meets Body" belongs to Death Cab For Cutie.

Soul Meets Body  
By: Nanaki BH

His lips ghosted over mine. Their softness was unparalleled. It was barely a kiss but it stole the breath right from my lungs. I gasped softly and it echoed around the quiet dark room. I knew my face was red in embarrassment which surprised me because I'd known for a long time that this moment would come. It was inevitable and unstoppable like gravity.

I ran my fingers over Reno's cheeks, over the thin scars that ran so deep in them. I dared not to open my eyes and see him; only to feel him and the way he pressed himself against me. My hands faltered in their work, stopping only long enough for me to wonder where my breath had gone. My jaw was locked, my chest felt tight... I tried to speak but my mouth felt dry. What was there to say? How could I say what he'd just made me feel?

"I love you" – I knew it's what he meant to say through that kiss; something so small and barely existing that somehow held so much feeling. I'd known of his love for me, and through ways that only lovers know of, I made sure he knew of my love for him. And there he was before me, holding me, telling me I had nothing to fear.

What did I fear? _Oh, God, _I realized, _my legs are shaking._ I felt hot tears at my eyes but kept them closed, refusing to let them fall. I knew. I knew what it was. I didn't _want_ to look at Reno. In a way, I _was_ trying my hardest not to ruin the moment. Because, you see, if I looked at him, I would be looking into the eyes of my lover.

Our kind of love around here is the worst crime of all.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried in earnest at his chest. I could feel his fingers in my hair, his other hand at the small of my back rubbing in small gentle circles. "I-I love you," I managed to choke out. "I love you, Reno."

Somehow, I didn't notice when my vision went black.

What I do vividly remember was waking up with a headache that threatened to crack my skull in half. I looked around my dimly lit room… it was overwhelmingly quiet. My sheets had been drawn up to my chest, my bedside lap was still on, the heater was running at a pretty good temperature… everything seemed normal and in place. There was one thing distinctly missing from it all: Reno.

I bit my lower lip. I couldn't blame myself if it'd all just been a dream. Lately I'd been having dreams of him but I'd certainly never had one of such… sheer emotion. I lied back, resting my weary head on my pillow. I felt cold then hot all over and knew I must have had a fever or something like it. I reasoned that maybe it's just the affect Reno has on me.

Resting an arm over my eyes, I breathed an exasperated sigh. Why was it that I could never really tell him how I feel? Why did my dreams have to taunt me with such things? It's like they were only there to mock me; to make me feel so good for a second, so proud of myself, then step all over me the next. Could I rule nothing; not even in my sleep? I rolled over, burying my face in the pillows, linking my fingers at the back of my head. A slight whimper escaped my lips.

"I love him," I whispered into the pillow. I brought my head up only a little so I could brush fresh tears from my eyes. "A person like me succumbing to love." I laughed, amused at my small observation. Reno really had broken something in me; probably for the better though… No, in fact, he hadn't broken something. Instead, he'd just _uncovered _something that I never knew existed; something beautiful, yet so painful.

I rolled onto my side. My stomach was beginning to hurt a little. Stress always has that affect on me. I lied there for a while just feeling outright _bad._ There was nothing for me to hold onto. I was tired of holding pillows and pretending they would protect me. They weren't Reno. Weakly, I let one of my hands fall to the bed and I disinterestedly observed my palm. Silently, I wished his hand could be in mine.

The door jarred. _Is someone at my door?_ I wondered. I heard keys jingle and then an aggravated curse.

"Reno?" I wondered aloud.

I picked my tired head up and managed to stagger to the door. I looked out the peephole, and sure enough, there stood an irritated Reno, flipping through his keys… holding a pillow. I opened the door for him, feeling generous enough to give him a break.

I leaned on the doorpost, wincing at the intense light in the hall. He seemed to be a little surprised, but no more so than I at the time. My hair was probably sticking out in odd directions and I probably had dark circles around my eyes… I probably looked like I'd caught holy hell. But he smiled. He stepped forward and ran a hand through my tousled hair. I sighed; that touch felt so familiar.

"What are you doing?" I muttered quietly.

"I couldn't leave you here alone, you know," he said. He stepped inside and guided me in against him. He closed the door with a soft _click_.

I shook my head. For whatever reason, I was feeling very tired again. "What do you mean?" It didn't seem to be the proper time to wonder why I didn't feel odd with him in my room, so I ignored the thought and let him lead me to my bed.

He took up the covers and tucked me in. "You passed out. I ran back to my place to get a pillow to make the floor a bit more comfortable."

I grasped his wrists. He was real. His words were real. The kiss… was real? I pulled him against me, insisting that he stay in my bed. "Please," I said, "there's no need to be a stranger."

His eyes went wide and his cheeks became flushed. He touched my shoulders and lingered there, looking away. A look of embarrassment, or even shame, crossed his face. Then he smiled and closed his eyes in that knowing way. He nodded slightly and climbed over me to the other side of the bed.

I gritted my teeth, angry with how he refused to face me. "Reno," I said. "Remind me what happened."

"Nothing," he said simply, almost like he didn't want to talk about it.

_How can he say that?_ I thought, shocked by his sudden cold disposition. _How can he pretend that was nothing?_ I reached forward and touched his shoulder. He didn't pull away, but he certainly didn't acknowledge my gesture. "Reno," I said again more insistently, "what happened?"

"Nothing!" He yelled.

I backed off. I figured that it must have been a dream… but something _had_ happened.

"Nothing…" he whispered.

"Did you," I started awkwardly. "Did you kiss me?"

He made no move to respond, but I could still sense that he was shaken up over it. The silence around us could kill. For about five more minutes he lied there like that; facing the wall, not speaking. "You really don't have to… say anything," he finally said softly. "I don't blame you."

"Blame me for what?"

He turned back to me. There was something in his eyes… something heartbreakingly sorrowful. "You don't have to love me too." I wanted to scream. My dreams had deceived me again. "You can't and you shouldn't."

"But I do," I said laughing. I brushed away some of his fallen red hair and cupped his face in my hands. "I do love you, Reno. Despite my father. Despite Shinra. Despite the whole damn word, I love you."

Confusion temporarily clouded his eyes. Once he saw the sincerity in mine, the clouds passed and love shined. "Truly?" he asked.

"Truly." I pulled him to me, holding his head close to my chest. "Truly, Reno."

Author's Notes: I liked writing this one because it was mostly stream of consciousness. I don't like writing Rufus as completely soulless and that's kind of how Advent Children portrayed him; along with some dry humor. I imagine him to be more bratty and angsty than bastardly. I also refuse to think of Reno as being a spastic ball of electricity. So, hopefully this portrays them well. I'm very glad you've all enjoyed my fics so far! There's still 24 more to go for 30kisses, seeing as how this was "#6 the space between dream and reality".


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